a nest of vipers crawling out of your mind

WRITERS BLOCK ISSUE: 3

2009-01-18T07:24:00.000-08:00

PAGE ONE:

PAGE TWO:

PAGE THREE:

PAGE FOUR:

PAGE FIVE:

PAGE SIX:

PAGE SEVEN:

WRITERS BLOCK ISSUE: 2

2009-01-18T07:23:00.000-08:00

PAGE ONE:

PAGE TWO:

WRITERS BLOCK ISSUE: 1

2009-01-18T07:20:00.000-08:00

THE BEGINNING
PART ONE OF SOMETHING I'VE BEEN WORKING ON:

PAGE ONE

PAGE TWO

2008-11-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

http://www.freewebs.com/powerhouseandkeith/index.htm

That was only 2003. haha, my flash animations are pretty awesome though, jason mouse. hahahahaha

double heroes tonight, i need to keep updating this more.

kristen bell is in a slave leia outlet in fanboys, fanboys sounded good anyway.

i want to watch foot fist way though

have been listening to loads of ramones tonight and reading russell brands articles of faith,

i am enjoying it less the further the football season is going on, i prefer just like non football brand, i couldnt have less of a shitting clue about football

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=P0TzUNti3rY

i love how that song begins, like mario

andrew wk is one of the worlds greatest musicians ever

I GET WET, is an amazing album, perfect pop in collision with pure headbanging genius

its basically pantera with pianos done by the ramones.

its good in that way

I have ordered ghwt and am awaiting its imminent arrive.

betcha cant play this is both awesome and annoying for the obvious reaons.

fucking youtube is gaying up batter slag.

What ever happened to the translyvania twist

2008-11-03T11:09:00.000-08:00

I have bought loads of stuff recently,. i will attempt review a load of stuff really quickly and in teretesting.

MY NAME IS EAR L SERIES 3.

as much as earl is earl and is good, here is hoping that series 4, jumps back to the series 1 list items format, it was ncie to have a tv show that just doesnt folllow long formats

30 rock is very funny

THE NEW BLEEDING THROUGH ALBUM, DECLARATION
IS JUST TOO DEATH METAL, IT FEELS LIKE A WASTE OF BRENDANS VOICE, BUT I FIGURE IT IS TO AVOID METALCORE BACKLASH
MUCH THE SAME AS TRIVIUM DO, BUT ALA TRIVIUMS WORK BETTER AS THEY HAVE MORE COMPROMISE

THAT ON THE OTHER HAND IS VERY GOOD. A GROWER.

GHOST TOWN IS FUCKING SHIT.

GOURMET BURGER IS AWESOME

I DIDNT SEE NO SQUIRRREELLL

2008-10-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

The composer of that song is dead, the world loses a hero.

http://www.hottoys.com.hk/product.php?cat=66&pid=394

could that look anymore like aaron eckhart?

big review of stuff coming later this week.

yes that zack and miri thing is gay, but i took the time to do it. so fuck it.

one day festival

2008-10-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

Metallica
Mighty Boosh
Megadeth
David Cross
Queens Of The Stone Age
Ricky Gervais
Pipettes
Evile
Ross Noble
Fozzy

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=L9h16JTxOUU&feature=related

after meeting rich ward i am on a bit of an obsession.
the picture i took turned out shit though.

The Sarah Silverman Program Series 1

2008-10-09T11:27:00.000-07:00

As a series, the show is both hit and miss.

MISSES
The humour is not really as strong as SS stand up work, it is hard to transform her humour into a sitcom format though.

Underused cast, Brian Posehn is criminally underused, but he is easily one of the top 5 standups of all time so thats probably why. Live In Nerd Rage is one of the best stand up cds ever imo.

Dodgy act formula, shitty american break fades in a tv show suck. ruin everything american. fading to black is not an appropriate act break

broad humour. the show drifts from extreme and sublime to middling fart gags (and i love farts)

The songs grate on me a bit, i'm sure if you love josh whedon you'll love the arrangements, on the big songs anyway (poop song and the lesbian song are good) but sarah silverman sings like josh whedon songs. all american musical shit. annoys me. but the gags are always good/

HIT

when its funny its really funny

Sarah Silverman: If we can put a man on the moon, we can put a man with AIDS on the moon. And pretty soon, we'll be able to put everyone with AIDS on the moon!

the cast. it has brian fucking posehn and zach galafinakis in it. as well as sarah silverman, its only missing patton and david cross and its like the coolest american comedians ever. (Demetri suits FotC better)

Karate Lessons, every episode apart from the 'first' non pilot are really good.

the subverting/inverting eating the sitcom spitting out the format thing, it is sitcom and then abuses it, but then is a sitcom, its odd, but good.

sarah silverman, she just is great, even when she is bad she is funny. so it doesnt matter.

the loch ness monster

"i'm gonna change him from a homeless person to a real person"

boundary pushing more aids jokes per minute that aint scene boys going AIDS LOLZ are good.

Sarah Silverman: I've done some drinkin', some druggin'. Tried it in the butt one or nine times.

talking to doug at night

probably being over critical in a world where how i met your mother is being made. but what the hell.

Boosh

2008-10-08T11:45:00.000-07:00

2.

Saw in Both sheffield and motherfucking york. i am one cool dude, even if i do, and i do say so.

that is my braggging out of the way.

i havent done this in a while, but for no reason in particular, i dunno why, i bought a new guitar though, jackson 30je kelly mode. it is fucking awesome, i am feeling a little under the weather.

david cross says he drank for three constant years

shut up you fucking baby is amazing.

tropic thunder - 9/10
same for pineapple express

kiss kiss bang bang is amazing, it is really good /noir,

and rounding off robert downey jr related posts

a scanner darkly.

rdj and woody harrelson steal the film. poor shitty keanu reeves.

also ghot back into gta4. man it is amazing. so good.

stress is becoming of a man.
i eat stress and shit out tiny balls of constipation.

fact.

mAYBE, SOMEDAY I WILL EAT IT ALL AND POOP OUT ALL THE STRESS EVER

POOP IT BACK AND FORTH.
WATCH ME YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW.

EMPIRE DID a top 500 films and i have seen 127 of them, roughly seen more but only like half and shit like that

here are my top 13 right now

scoped out, so its not just kevin smith, GDT, shane meadows and robert rodriguez

person whos films probably wiill be in there when more come out

Rian Johnson

1. Dark Knight - The Best Film Ever, COLD HARD FACT
2. Clerks - Honesty.
3. From Dusk Till Dawn - Tone and style
4. Leon - 3 of the best performances in a film from Oldman/Reno/Portman
5. Empire Strikes Back - a series of down endings
6. Planet Terror - the most fun in a film
7. Brick - Cool dialogue/direction
8. Dead Mans Shoes - Paddy Consadine Fucking Ace
9. Hellboy II: The Golden Army - The best comic book movie ever (DK is not comic book it transcends it)
10. Chasing Amy - WHY EVERY OTHER ROM COM IS SHIT
11. Devils Rejects - I forgot about this and halloween they are up there as greatest films too
12. Halloween - See above
13. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - A great balance to chasing amy, something mainstream done well

Honorable mention 2 V for Vendetta
and watchmen will be in here once i have seen it,.

RERATDED
RETARDED
DTDRERAT

MY COOPY OF SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM HAS SHOWN UP IF ANYONE KNOWS WHO SARAH SILVERMAN IS HERE AND KNOWS HER STAND UP, YOU ARE COOL, IF YOU DONT, I AM COOLER THAN YOU

Jessica Alba Catwoman?

what video games was hitler playing

2008-09-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

Gospel

2008-09-18T12:53:00.001-07:00

The Virgin Mary appeared before me and raped me.

david cross is really fu(cking)nny (does that work, no i guess not)

Watched rocknrolla last night

positives

toby kebbell (as good as he is in dms)
tom wilkinson on top form
humour like lsa2sb and snatch
in general a return to form

negatives
starts well ends appallingly, looks like it could be a good ending and then just sets its self up for a sequel, but no real concrete ending, it just kind of shoots its self in the foot.

guitar stand didnt turn up today, but did, i rang up to rebook and the woman couldnt understand i was okay with leaving it in the back garden, it was a sugar shit nightmare, the good gthing being though that the computer i talked to was well good, it actually understood what i was saying. and i mumble a lot.

PLASE TELL ME YR POSTCODE
DONT SAY A FOR APEL JUST SAY THE LETTARS

a for apple, what the fuck

I SAD DONT SAY A FOR APPEL

a for apple...

I. I

a.

A FOR APPEL

you're doing it now

EXCLUDE ME FROM THE VINTAGER, HELPING SOME OF THE OTHER 5 BIKLION PEOPLE ON PLANET

sorry, can i speak to a real person now
______________________________________________________
----------------------------------------------------------------------

CART

_____________________________________+++++++++
CARRRRRRRRRRRT

electricity make me a ghost, power my little golf cart as i glide around
shopping centre security at its finest, i geordie green am one solid gold pimp,

fucking wheels on the kerb shit, something, shouldnt have drank so much
drinking on the job is easy through this night though, i am a solid gold pimp

may i never fucking, rust, does gold rust... do the old rust? shit i am good
must mop the skidmarks up later, no one will know then, the bump will pop out

fuckinh chipped nailpaints, fucking ar shit, fuck, bumping bollard cock sword
calm down, it'll be okay, just like say a dog jumped out, yeh silly to stress out

fgucba fff, balls, that noise, shit, wait... ... ... no br no broken glass gone yet
just go back to sleep again, shit, what them kids doing. FUCK OFF, all gone.

fucking hell, shit, light, 3,30am, get some coofffeeeee, will be okay, fuck the
cast cart itsall mashed up, i'll be okay, fucking dog jumped out and i swerved

sbs yeah, yeah, i mean it was a fucking huge thing, must have got thrugh fence
i had a look couldnt find out, okay seeya tomorrow night, i am a solid gold pimp

Mwetallicad

2008-09-15T11:46:00.001-07:00

Death Magnetic just gets better with every listen, probably their best album over all, good mix of material.

all nightmare long has probably the best riffs. bouncy. but cyanide is so good, everything is so good, its just amazing.

more shit about wolves

four words, i fall down
a heart beats fast
i hit the ground
war head, is nothing less
screaming in agony,
somebody set him free

pig heart, blood rush through
half true,messages sent from me to you
pinching pounds of pure pain
i am bound to this war again

stuck fast, i search
what is it worth
stuck fast, i search
howling, from my bitter birth

four words, i fall down
a heart beats fast
i hit the ground
war head, is nothing less
screaming in agony,
somebody set him free

pregnant pain seeps across
land that weeps when i do not
can your win count as my loss
you cant forgive if you've forgot

prowling proud i hide
behind my teeth and seeded eyes
outside the hills make me a monster
moon strikes full i warn you

stuck fast, i search
what is it worth
stuck fast, i search
howling, from my bitter birth

when can it be,
nothing more i see
silver bullet and haunted pride
face the enemy that is inside

stuck fast, i search
what is it worth
stuck fast, i search
howling, from my bitter birth

four words, i fall down
a heart beats fast
i hit the ground
war head, is nothing less
screaming in agony,
somebody set him free

four words, i fall down
a heart beats fast
i hit the ground
war head, is nothing less
screaming in agony,
somebody set him free

spider webs

2008-09-14T14:26:00.000-07:00

SPIDER WEBS, CRIPPLE LEGS

SHE FELL BEFORE
THERE WAS NOTHING MORE

I MIGHT BE SOMETHING ELSE, BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH

I TOUCHED HELL AND FELL BACK
I TOUCHED HELL AND FELL BACK

I WAS WRONG,
HELL BELONGS INSIDE ME
DECAPITATED WITH RENNIES
I AM RETARDED
NO ANTIBIOTICS
MONKEY IN THE TRAIN WINDOW
LIKE YOU WANTED

INDIGESTION, A LESSON NEVER LEARNT
BUTCHERED ALL ABOVE
IN THE NAME OF LOVE
HUNGER FOR SOMETHING ELSE
BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH

PUB QUIZ MACHINE
FELL APART
"DO YOU HAVE A HEART?"

SHIT HAPPENED
I AM A DISCIPLE, BELIEVING IN THE FAMOUS FIVE,
FICTIONAL SAINT BY A NON BELIEVER
MAYBE YOU'LL WAKE UP

MAYBE YOU'LL WAKE UP
WAKE UP
MAY BE
M
AY
BE
YOU'LL JUST TAKE IT OVER
GIVE IT TO YOUR SAVIOR
ON PAROLE FOR GOOD BEHAVIOUR

WHO SAYS WHAT HAPPPENS
LOBOTOMISED BY CHANNEL 4
TAKING MORE AND MORE
NO NEED TO SETTLE THIS
MET A GIRL WHO COULD EAT MY FIST
REVENGE IS A PRODUCT OF A PATENT

GREED AND EMPATHY
CHOKING ON PETROL FUMES
MAGIC MUSHROOMS
PUBLIC TOILET
CELEBRITY CANNOT AVOID IT

METAL GODS

2008-09-14T13:17:00.000-07:00

THE NEW METALLICA ALBUM IS FUCKING AMAZING, THE BOX MAGNETIC IS AMAZING AND A PHOTO WILL BE POSTED.

WILL LISTEN TO THE ALBUM A FEW TIMES BEFORE THE REVIEW

BUT THE NEW GROOVELADEN METALLICA FIRE OUT CLASSIC RIFFS, AS JAEOTRON SAID, ITS THE BEST ALBUM SINCE JUSTICE, ITS NOT A THRASH ALBUM AT ALL, BUT THE BEST MODERN METAL ALBUM

IT TAKES THEIR ORIGINAL ROOTS THROWS IN THE BEST OF THE OLD, CHUG CHUG, AND SLAPS IN SOME DOOM METAL FOR GOOD MEASURE, KIRK HAMMETT SOLOS LIKE HE'S NEVER DONE BEFORE, TRUELY BLENDING HIS SPEED METAL AND BLUES ROOTS IN A WAY THAT MESHES WITH THE NEW VISION FOR METALLICA.

LARS DRUMS.

ENUFF SAID REALLY, THE SNARE DRUM DOESNT SOUND LIKE A DUSTBIN LID.

HETFIELD FUCKS SHIT UP, LYRICALLY HE IS ON FORM. "INCINERATE CELEBRITY". END OF THE LINE IS PROBABLY THE STRONGEST FROM MY OPINION.

CANT HEAR MUCH BASS BUTS WHATS NEW FOR TALLICA, LIVE IS WHERE TRUJILLO COMES INTO HIS OWN, BUT HIS WORK WITH SUICIDAL TENDANCIES CLEARLY POPS INTO THE GROOVE FACTOR

HERES HEAVY METAL AND HERES WHY ITS GOOD:
http://www.nme.com/news/iron-maiden/39699

WHICH LOSER INDIE BAND HAS DONE THAT,. URR NONE, DISCO CANT FLY PLANES, YOU TWATS.

P-DIDDY FUCKER THOUGHT HE HAD A PLANE, DIDN'T. D-THE I- THE DOUBLE D THE WHY?
PRIVATE JET, TIMESHARE

I THINK THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT, THE MORE CLASSIC METAL SHOULD ACTUALLY BE A SUBJECT TAUGHT AT SCHOOL, COS IT FUCKING RULES. I'D'VE GOT LIKE 100/50 ON THAT SHIT THOUGH, LIKE.

FAITH NO MORE / STP KICK ASS. BOUGHT THESE DOUBLE CD THINGS WITH PURPLE/CORE AND ANGEL DUST/REAL THING, FOR A TENNER FROM HMV IN LIVERPOOL ONE (NOW NUMBER ONE HMV)

SOLO....

FOR A guitar USER I SURE DEFAULT TO AIR DRUMS, I KICK ASS ON AIR DRUMS, SHIT ON REAL DRUMS. PROBLY WHY

THE DAY THAT NEVER COMES NEARLY TURNS INTO COMMANDO AT A COUPLE OF POINTS, TALLICA COVERED IT ON ONE OF THE ST.ANGER SINGLES UK CD1 TO BE PRECISE,

WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY - THE RAMONES TRIBUTE BY ROB ZOMBIE, IS THE BEST COVER ALBUM EVER.

NICKED FROM WIKI

RATED OUT OF 10

"Havana Affair" - Red Hot Chili Peppers - 9
"Blitzkrieg Bop" - Rob Zombie -10
"I Believe in Miracles" - Eddie Vedder & Zeke - 8
"53rd & 3rd" - Metallica -7 ( I KNOW A PRO TALLIC BLOG N ALL, BUT THE COVERS PROVIDED ON ST ANGER SINGLES COMMANDO/TODAY YOUR LOVE, GLUE, ARE A LOT BETTER)
"Beat on the Brat" - U2 -6
"Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?" - KISS - 10 (KISS DO CHEAP POP BETTER THAN ANYONE)
"The KKK Took My Baby Away" - Marilyn Manson (ABORTION, GET THE DWARVES VERSION, AVAILABLE ON P2P AND INSANITY)

"I Just Wanna Have Something To Do" - Garbage

INTERESTING BUT NOT WORTH DOING, THE VERSION FROM RNR HIGH SCHOOL IS BETTER

"Outsider" - Green Day

GD SHOW WHAT THEY ARE, COPYISTS, TAKING IT A COVER AND MAKING IT THEIR BEST SONG

"Something to Believe In" - The Pretenders

WANK

"Sheena Is a Punk Rocker" - Rancid

MADE ME HATE RANCID, LIKE EM OTHER WISE RUBY SOHO/SALVATION IN PARTICULAR

"I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" - Pete Yorn

WHY?

"I Wanna Be Sedated" - The Offspring

TICKS ALL THE BOXES

"Here Today, Gone Tomorrow" - Rooney

ROONEY ARE GOOD, BUT NO ONE GIVES A SHIT. FACT.

"Return of Jackie & Judy" - Tom Waits

ENTERTAINING

"Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World" - John Frusciante (hidden track)^*

FUNERAL SONG, BEAUTIFUL BUT HORRIBLE

AND OTHERS GET:

"Daytime Dilemma (Dangers of Love)" - Eddie Vedder & Zeke

NEVER HEARD, BUT ITS A BORING SONG NORMALLY

CANT WAIT TO HAVE A NEW MOSH TO TALLICA,

ALSO WENT TO SEE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS T'OTHER DAY

BETTER THAN SUPERBAD ON A PARALELL WITH FSM, WHICH IS NEARLY ON A PAR WITH K.SMITHS WORK, MEANING ZACK AND MIRI IS PROBABLY GOING TO MAKE ME CRY WITH LAUGHTER

EVERYONE LEFT BEFORE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS BY HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS STARTED, LOSERS.

Dale Denton: [while hiding in the woods, on the run from Ted's henchmen] Even if he found that roach, how could he find us?
Saul: Um...heat-seeking missiles...bloodhounds...and foxes...barracudas...
Dale Denton: I'm just--I'm kind of flabbergasted when you say things like that. It's weird.
Saul: Thank you.
Dale Denton: Not a compliment.

I LIKE IMDB AND THE DUDE FROM NORWICH OR WHERE EVER WHO OWNS IT, HE KICKS ASS

Red: You don't think I can handle danger?
Dale Denton: What are you talking about?
Saul: You can.
Red: I totally can. And for you to come into my house and not tell secrets because you think you're saving me, well, in reality it just makes you look like a dumbass, cause look at this.
[He shows them his shaved armpits]
Red: You see this? You see that? There's no hair under here, bro.
Dale Denton: What's the significance of that?
Red: It makes me aerodynamic when I fight. I can take danger.

MIGHT CHANGE THE BLOGS NAME TO I CAN TAKE DANGER

I AM IN METALLICA I FUCKING RULE.

WWMD. :)

UNFORGIVEN III - A THREEQUAL TO A SONG THAT RULES, SO GOOD.

WATCHED THE FELLOWSHIP ON SATUDAY
THAT SHIT IS LAME,
SERIOUSLY, NO ONE CARES, BUNCH OF BALLS.
SO BORING, NOT EVEN THE FUCKING MIDGETS COULD SAVE IT

SIR IAN SIR IAN SIR IAN
YOU SHALL NOT PASS
SIR IAN SIR IAN SIR IAN

Christ Compels you

2008-09-11T10:27:00.000-07:00

They explode and i wheeze and vomit
my belly expands and sick mixes with the blood in my eyes
hungry it climbs up and smells of floor polish
my teeth clatter to the floor, hooked ended and coated in yellow
the wheelchair across the road skates by me, passenger on the floor
writhing and twisting they pierce me with shrieks of manic rage
the radio excretes snow, and foam gushes from the television set
i begin to float and stiffen i tumble to the floor
i convulse and blood flows up and out of me
feet turn into biro pens bound together with fiishing wires
horses moan with orgasmic pleasure as they fall down the stairs
I wish they'd stop.
I hope they stop.
The dinnerbell rings at half past five.
Everyone climbs into their cars and troops towards ayrs rock,
boats fill the seas and everyone marches foward
towards, on board my eyebrows lactate and i burp out ringtones like a digital canary
greedy bastard children munch on the steel and rust and poop out coins
ayrs rock swells and blemishes, a dalmation of rock
drawn in, we thin out and i push through the squelsch of the rock, cottage cheese.
in the middle now,
it booms and echoes and the sound eats me.
i wish they'd stop.

Cyanide

2008-09-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

http://www.metallica.com/index.asp?item=601167

How awesome that song is is very. it is amazing, it was amazing live, cant wait for a less fuzzy one than this though, so shoddy a version the bit rate is far too low.

rhythmically it is odd for metallica, its a metallica song with a homme groove. which is amazing. bounces along and then pops into the grit your teeth thrash riff. it kicks ass.

i know it wont be here for like friday but i hope death in a box does turn up for then, it would rule.

t shirtetc

5 DISC WHITE ZOMBIE BOXSET OUT FOR CHRISTMASS THIS YEAR. LAURA, YOU'LL READ THIS , ITS KIND OF OBVIOUS BUT HEY OBVIOUS IS OBVIOUS.

FEEL SLIKES IAM SMPELLING OBVIOUS WRONG, BUT PUTTING IT NEAR MISPELT WORDS MAKES IT LOOK CORRECT. WEIRD EH?

apparently the film version of american mcgees Alice is redrafted and they are shopping for a new studio. what chance they'll stand with no nispel and gellar is anyones chance. i mean smg as alice was the selling point of the film. so i dont know what they'll do to get it made. probably someone from something shit.

BATMAN SEQUEL RUMOURS THAT SHOULD BE TRUE.

michael caine has been taking the piss out of the pshoffman penguin and depp riddler rumours. but the daily mail took him seriously. i think it was the mail its normally the mail that is wrong

CASTING DECISIONS:

Steve Buscemi - Riddler (Has to be, would be perfect)
Ellen Page - Robin (Carrie Kelly Robin) - if they do a dark knight returns spin, dead two face and the hunted batman, seem to point to this alongside the sons of batmenesque copycats from dk.)
OR:
Joseph Gordon Levitt - Robin If its a dick grayson robin, or preferably JT, but no jt cos no joker
Sheri Moon Zombie - Catwoman (The only way they could pull off catwoman i think as the way she is, i feel, everyone else would be too straightlaced, cant think of a single actress who is actually better suited. i can think of bigger names, but i dont think they would actually be any good.

on a similar theme

Sid Haig as a mad bastard version of the penguin, would be amazing, but a bit of a stretch as is jonah hill. but alas, they are the two who i think would do an entertaining job.

i wouldnt mind devito again, he was badass in returns.

Watched the lookout last night, was pretty good,

Jeff Daniels would be a good penguin. penguins only person i am stuck on.
Amy Adams is blatantly Poison Ivy.

anyway the lookout, really good gripping film nice and short time span, story had no fat on it, lean little film, JGL was amazing in it, as he tends to be in things, jeff daniels was the real standout though. the poster kind of makes the film out to be something it isnt. cool poses and what not, its not really a cool poses kind of film, it plays like a teenage memento heist movie, okay memory loss is the only thing they have in common but the gritty indie vibe seems to match the tone better. its not a slick heist movie, its a fucked one. i wont spoil the plot, but it is definately worth a watch.

want a new guitar, this one

IN BRUGE QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"Altogether, I've had five pints of beer and six bottles...no...six pints of beer and seven bottles, and you know what? I'm not even pissed."

Clip from six shooter, which is just an ace short film by the same writer/director of inbruges/

The Day that never comes.

METALLICAMETALLICAMETALLICAMETALLICAMETALLICAMETALLICAMETALLICAMETALLICAMETALLICAMETALLICAETXC

____

LUKEWARMED KHEMIST
SEDATISED DENTIST
THE KHARMA OF EXISTENCE
A PUNCH FROM WHO MEANT IT
DENTAL HYGIENIST, CLEANING MY FECES
STRUCK OUT, SMACKED AS HE WENT IN WITH
METAL TONGS AND PINK CHUBBY FINGERS IN CONDOM GLOVE
USING PROTECTION HE TOOK IT FROM INSIDE OF ME
THE BEER WASNT STOPPING THE DENTISTRY
GUMS SOB BLOOD AS HE LAUGHS
LOOK LIKE A SLUG CUT IN A HALF
HE REPLACES THESE WITH WOLF TEETH AND SITS AND GUFFAWS
I FART AND BARF AND FALL TO THE FLOOR
THE GAS WEARS OFF.
I STAND AND STRIKE
THE BEER IS SPILT AND MOSS AND FAIRY SKIN COVERS THE HILL
THE RABBIT FALLS AND I TASTE IT,
THE WORK WAS WORTH IT, I AM HUNTING NOW AND NOT HUNGRY
NO MORE LUNCHABLES OR QUEUES
NO MORE MISTAKES ON PCS OR IN BOOKS
NO MORE PLASTERS OF WOUNDS ON FOOT.
I TAKE A SIP AT THE RABBITS BLOOD AND CHASE THE MOON
MCDONALDS SOON
I CAN DO THE DRIVE THRU TOMORROW
NO MORE FULL MOON

supervillian

2008-09-04T10:18:00.000-07:00

I am supervillainous.
The definate article.
Broad brush strokes,
paint your opinions

Choose to Wear
the terror of
poloshirts, and boots
stylish in industrial estates

we laugh, we fuck around
we taunt the flaccid rubber membranes with air
pursing their thin lips, for farting sounds.

I pack you into boxes
and give you away
condoms, small and beige

you blow them and
stick them on the curtain rails
can you see me yet
my saliva is all over the inside
mixing with yours

the sunlight shines through
gobby lava lamp shines
your childrens birthday party
with a shadow of phelgm cast over it
like a hospital lab.

but dont be sad, they will pop soon
saliva spreading and filling the room
my cold sicks up on your furniture,
you slowly wither, and grow green
all because i didnt read the book on hygiene

Never Miss A Beat

2008-09-04T10:05:00.000-07:00

Like it, worried they will do an ashcroft though, essentially it is an idiot rant as a song.

already radio one were like, oh, i had crisps for my tea. wikkid.

cockshiners.

fucking tools.

SILVER BULLETS.

EVERYBODY IS AWARE OF ME,
LIVING THROUGH BROKEN BIOLOGY
DISCOVERED THROUGH ASTRONOMY
IAM WHAT CAN NOT BE

DISCOVERED
UNCOVERED
INFECTED
THE WOUNDS OF THE NATION ARE SEPTIC

EVERYBODY IS AFRAID OF ME
STALKING THE CITYS/NEW DISEASE
INCREASING THE SIZE OF MY FAMILY
IAM WHAT CAN NOT BE

DISCOVERED
UNCOVERED
INFECTED
THE WOUNDS OF THE NATION ARE SEPTIC

SILVER BULLETS, WONT EVEN STOP ME
I AM A ROCKET, I AM ATROCITY

SILVER BULLETS.

UNDONE AS A CREASE I SUFFER IN DEFEAT
A MEAT OF COMPLACENCY SITS AT MY FEET
A NATION DEVOURED NEVER BEEN SO PROUD
INTO THE NIGHT THE URBAN WOLF HOWLS

DISCOVERED
UNCOVERED
INFECTED
THE WOUNDS OF THE NATION ARE SEPTIC

SILVER BULLETS, USE THEM WELL
UNLESS WE ARE TO SUFFER THIS HELL

SI
LV
ER
BU
LL
ET
S.

Mario Party was delayed for release in england because it had spastic on the box and they had to replace it with erratic

dunno why spastic is a much better word, apparently though its offensive, only if it is used offensively, i doubt it said

"mario spastic party

play as mario as a spastic.

play as waluigi, the spastic"

i bet it was

"Mario Party even suitable for spastics"

thats not offensive, its just informative.......

if anything erratic, just makes it sound absurd

"Mario party even suitable for erratic people"

IF I SEE ANOTHER ADVERT FOR UGLY BETTY I WILL SHIT MY MIND AND THROW IT AWAY, WELL I WONT BE DOING THAT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

being famous

2008-09-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGq-9X3ho7U&feature=related

theres about 10 of them, really worth the watch
watching alan moore videos is interesting he is interesting

being famous
heads up your anus
the plague of cameras
like bees made of light
beams of light fight you
the tabloids glare at your
fat
pudgy
racist

face

alright, dont worry about it
hide, you still want the stars
hiding in cheap bars,
telling anyone who will notice
embracing the floating voters
they still didnt like you,
the tv crews didnt neither
even though they plied you with cream buns
and squeezed you
2 kisses on your cheek
the apathy of it all

you stand on the balls of your feet
get your head above the crowd
you're queuing for the toilet now
the turtle head of fame is poking out
shit and scream, stab and shout
the craze is dying the year is through
what once was you is someone new
OK a last ditch, what the fuck did you do for christmas
dressed up as a whore, doing the dishes
who is really interested,
who is?
the slabs of...
you cant describe them, you thrive on them
you fuck them for cash with your eyes
the magazines advertise your assests, your only ones
in glossy glory, a haunting story
you're either selling your body or your pride
failing to cover up
like a fat seal pup about to be clubbed
you fall out of a sordid scandal
innocent and naive, or so it seems
creating your own demise to thrive on their grief

a black eye or a smack you didnt ask for it
the publicity men said it was worth its wait in gold
you cant keep up with them
the talented
IS IT ironic that your fame is from reality
only likeable compared to few,
the public was forced to like you.

you didnt realise the truth,
a host of a bizarre troop
your next challenge a nazi tattoo,

when will you stop,
smoking crack rocks

0----------------------0
thats a really long ranty one isnt it.

the oven broke half through yorkshire puddings so they were fried.

me reading blogs and copying things from blogs for other people to read

2008-09-03T09:58:00.001-07:00

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

ace

Zack & Miri

2008-09-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

Zack & Miri Trailer Up, watched it, it is amazing, I think Kevin Smith is literally some kind of god

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/zachmiripornposter.jpg
also watch the trailer @filmdrunk.com

Seth Rogen is upthere with Jeff Anderson with the born for smith dialogue voice.

His act has always been very Smith-esque, his delivery of the back to the future dialogue with paul rudd being the funniest bit of knocked up by a long way.

knocked up is alright, overlong though, and katherine heigl has an annoying face, its like god designed her face by drawing a circle and then throwing the bits for a face as close to the middle as possible. from certain angles she is attractive the most of the time though she looks like the plate faces in POD

Hey sing something douchebag

I didnt do the fucking LOL, i am not against lol, its just that the statement isnt funny.

turns out as well i cant get away with saying douchebag or cockshiner

I did invent dickeyes though, so the world of insults goes around.

NB if anyone reads this and can find a recorded use of dickeyes let me know, i might patent the word, it is pretty badass.

Golf, whats the point?

I mean, if its not cool and alice cooper does it, whats the fucking point of it.
i once knocked myself out playing goodlf, i fucking was playing keepy uppy with a golf club, did like 3 (i know, great) and then keeped the club uppy into my eye knocking me out.

it hurt..

still havent seen hellboy 2 yet... grr.
but pineapple express is out soon, am looking forward to that

yorkshire puddings with tea.

is there anybody out there

2008-09-01T11:17:00.003-07:00

off to the pub, they dont have the dwarves on the jukebox, which is lame,

the dwarves kick ass. fact.

Extras

2008-08-31T12:28:00.000-07:00

For a first picture i didnt know just what to choose, but a picture of the lamb was the right one to go for, yes its about extras again, but it is amazing

from the perspective of wannabe writer and tv comedy fan, it hits all the right buttons, the cameos are pitch perfect (patrick stewart is amazing, he also shares the same birthday as me, as does harrison ford and x-pac) my birthday is the best.

ashley jensen is amazing, why is she is ugly betty, the most boring tv programme ever.

ricky gervais is amazing, one of the most intelligent and direct writers/performers ever, i dont think many can compare with him. extras is everything british tv should be, ie not try to be american, its intelligence is in its distance, it doesnt avoid the punchline or the pun, but it delivers them in such a way that you feed on them, waiting for the lines, waiting for andy millman t0 take his turn.

the fact that the bbc let them get away with the comedy department ripping, is cringefully accurate, with the bbcs schedule firing us tosh like the wrong door, trexx and flipside (the fact i say this is shit considering one of them is in the jokers gang and rich fulcher is involved is a brown streak of shitty approval), catherine tate, my family (the longest running thing they have, fucking hell)

admirably, lee macks not going out was watchable 9pm friday tv not without its faults, but macks charm pushed an average mbb/gameon style setup into the chuckle, but the bbc pushes the wrong things, currently all they have is the panel shows

would i lie to you
mock the week
QI
and the ever strong buzzcocks (or bailey, jupituss and idiot)

mitchell and webb & boosh sticking around in no mans land

m&b the only decent thing they have on 2, the show that as a youth fed me shooting stars and absolute power and alan partridge

tv is missing you reeves/mortimer/coogan
come back, partridges nasal whine breaking the 2 idents would be a rallying call for quality, the stott brothers squeal would make me complete.

bbc give up, sketch shows are over, till the fast show returns, whitehouse and enfield return, whilst watered down for them was still the best thing you've fed us on mainstream tv in a while.

If you want, go elsewhere go american, sarah silverman show has not been picked up for uk broadcast and i'm desperate to see that, be adventerous, be intelligent, but for fucks sake do something actually entertaining with the 4 of hours of giggles you put on.

forced back arrested development

arrested developement

cr8-yr-0wn-pzza

2008-08-30T13:18:00.000-07:00

deep pan
bbq sauce
cheese
hickory steak
jalepenos
chili beef
rashers of bacon
more cheese

supermarket boy, eyes as pale as the moon
face with as many craters
every weekend trapped inside a glass paneled bakery
the music you listen to is constructed from fakery
cheap cheery hip hop, sold by the weight
electro and rock developed by snakes

snakey industry devils in whos tunes you revel
melting your earwax with septic levels...

of volume,
of purity,
of what you should feel
stuck in the middle
you have stolen the wheel
the songs say love her, even through it all
the times she cupped your best mates balls
a fool, you glance behind the saucered
eyes

reflected on the glass your spots seem enormous
the mirrored glass is the thing that caused this

they can see you work they say
they can be involved in the process
you just flick switches and fuck with the voltage

baguette
baguette,
croissant... better yet

maybe you'll so doughnuts, put em in your pocket and go home
call Danni on the phone and meet her at the park

the doughnuts you made in the shape of a heart
she turns away with her face like you farted
an abstract description, but we know where it started
the beans for lunch and the eggs for tea
for you for her, its better to leave

rejected, alone, you move through the park
theres a hole in the donuts and in your heart

Extras

2008-08-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

Is so amazing, it really is one of the best television programmes ever made

Keep Pulling me hair out, i dunno why feel quite odd, feel like i am malting.

-------------------------

sickly politician feeding on celebrity
societys thoughts ruled by the heat
a flame or a spark of a cosmetic smile
gains a mile on the campaign trail
a trial, mislead, something else to be,
celebrity news infiltrates the bbc
bye bye shipping reports,

lost thoughts turn to
whos wearing what,
the price of shoes

plastic, antagonistic feet, stomp the stores
woolworths is losing the political war,

we fade away, commerical gain is king,
not voting for who does the right thing,
but for who can promote the best chicken wings,

The tv votes are piling in,
the show is the thing,
seedy judges with tiny eyes
pantomime the reasons why,
making it clear for the hairgelled masses
home from school confused by english classes

like the street before it becomes all alike,
feeding parliament with neon lights,
no one cares about equality
its more about buy one, get one free

Capitals

2008-08-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

Ostrich Boy With Rubber Eyelids
He's Just Friends With The Blind Kids

Only People Discriminate,

Ostrichian Hands Holding Theres
He's Safe From Their Evil Stares

Walking Through The Hospitals
Getting High Off Little Pills

Ostrich Addict,
People Caused His Habit.

Stuck Alone To Headphones
Listening To Loud Trombones

As Everyone Walks By,
Ignoring Him, Even though,

His Trombone Music Is Loud, And Shit.

Looking to buy this on cd for you laura, but i cant find it

2008-08-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

read about her on imockery

leeni

shes well good
i think laura would like her, i figure she would.

i dunno, shes good though

still smell like reading

only a couple of things better than metallica :)

and thats why

2008-08-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

i dont like cricket

reading tomorrroooooooooooow

metallica
metallica
metallica

fuck yeah

list

2008-08-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

Some Ideas

A Rodent called Gary rushes to the shops

French Toast

iAN, (how its spelt with the comma) a dentist with epilepsy is forced to do root canal surgery in a nightclub

deaf tennis

bringing fountain pens back, with inkwells.

Guitar Hero for the psp

gloves that you can feel stuff through

hollow holly, the lighter xmas trimming

magic eye being cool again

dog focus on cameras, them cameras dont check for dog faces

nailfiles, long enough to do your toes without like actually having to bend down

a straw as wide as the circumfrance of a glass that narrows to A POINT SO YOU CAN, suck up a drink all in one go

Stevens

2008-08-18T15:40:00.001-07:00

Elvis Stevens,
The best in our region

king of the quiff
and swivelling of hips

wearing his jumpsuit
it all went wrong

followed him thoroughly
soon became slovenly

anal fissure,
a warning sign

tis not the end of the tale
his life was so frail

the hairs on his chest
were make believe

he imacced a cat
put the remains in a bag
poor little pepe
looked like a shrivelled nut sack

the rspca came to take him away
but the devil had got him with a giant pork pie

___________________

Pork pies ar nice though, this is just a story

oscar babayaro, he is tall.

2008-08-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

Crisps on the blanket,
MY sandwich is reasonably damp
I understand that i could eat a lamprey
if only they were available

i dont know why i was wearing jeans
rolled up the bottom
shorts would have been easier
and now me jeans are tainted

rolled up / sand stains
wearing the beach towel as a cape
a semi naked superhero
running through the sand

Text Speak

2008-08-09T09:40:00.000-07:00

gets a bad rep,. i think it is the way forward, it is a part of english language, a language created from the ashes and limbs of other languages i think it is the purest form of language, i usually cant abide the leetspeek teens who write it, but it doesnt mean i cant admire the purity and lack of fucking around it so clearly promotes, the cam[pain for plain english should encourage the people that speak lyk dis, cos a sum lvl thy no hw2 put ther point ax.

Watching extras now, it is amazing.

ENGLISH

Dark Knight

2008-08-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

Saw it for the third time today, it is literally the best film ever.
nearly cried twice, the ending is amazing

this is good too:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

badassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

2008-08-08T14:42:00.000-07:00

buckethead, he great

2008-08-05T13:12:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkv-pAYLrwQ

won't let me embed, but its an amazing video and an amazing song, shame a decent band have split up.

hopefully is not permenant caNT WAIT TO SEE THEM AGAIN AT READUBnf

Compilations

2008-08-05T12:59:00.001-07:00

Gonna do a fucking harsh compilation for reading. well a couple

first draft

mix.
non metallica.

0. The Donnas - Bitchin'
1. Ozzy Osbourne - I Don't Wanna Change The World
2. Demetri Martin - Public Information Waltz
3. Rob Zombie - Foxy Foxy
4. Slade - Gudbye t'Jane
5. Municipal Waste - Terrorshark
6. Judas Priest - You've Got Another Thing Comin'
6a. Bowling For Soup
7. Iron Maiden - The Evil That Men Do
8. Dwarves - Way Out
9. Megadeth - Peace Sells
10. Cathedral - Hopkins (Witchfinder General)
11. Tenacious D - The Metal
12. Rob Zombie - Pussy Liquor
Pre Pre 13. Rocket From The Crypt - On A Rope
Pre 13. Reel Big Fish - Party Down
14. (its 13 Really)
(Its actually 15)
15. Rose McGowan - Useless Talent #32

Then Possibly another one and then a metallica one, which i will update later, but that is gonna take some thought.

passwords

2008-07-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

I never remember them, i cant put them in a word file, else the man will find them, lest we forget his all encompassing power to rape the shitty rainbow of privacy.

I think i have become a god like sentient being, taped to the world and feeding off the noise that creates functions, apart from that i think i am in love with the dark knight. i wont stop going on about it, cant wait to see it again this weekend.

IT IS THE GREATEST FILM EVER.
FROM THE OPENING HEIST YOU ARE SUCKED INTO THE MOST WELL WRITTEN AND DRIVEN FILM EVER, THE FLOW AND PACING OF THE EDITING IS AMAZING, I ALMOST HOPE WE DONT GET A DIRECTORS CUT, I WOULDNT WANT TO THINK THAT THE VERSION I SAW AT IMAX WAS A WATERED DOWN VERSION OF NOLANS IDEAS. THE RHYTHM OF THE FILM WAS BREATHTAKING, I SIMPLY DONT THINK THIS FILM CAN BE BETTERED, FOR MY NEEDS/WANTS/DESIRES OF A MOTION PICTURE I WAS GIVEN EVERYTHING I NEEDED, THE PERFECT LENGTH, THE PERFECT SCORE, THE MUSIC IS AMAZING. IT IS PERFECT
LEDGERS PERFORMANCE AMAZING AS IT HAS BEEN NOTED, IS NOT THE ONLY INCREDIBLE THING. I THINK OLDMAN IN ARGUABLY THE PLAINEST ROLE KICKS IN AN AMAZING PERFORMANCE DRAWING YOUR EYE TO HIM OVER LEDGER/BALE/ECKHART IN THEIR COMIC BOOK GARB WITH JUST SHEER BRILLIANCE AND CHARISMA.

AMAZING
PERFECT
IT IS FUCKING BRILLIANT, IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT, MAKE IT A HAVE SEEN IT.

DO I WANT A 3RD?
I DO,
DO I?
I DONT KNOW.
BEAUTIFUL FILM MAKING.

PASWORDS

Favourite Guitar PLayers

2008-07-19T03:32:00.000-07:00

Might update this with bits of writing at a later date:

in no particular order:

JOHN 5

DAVE MUSTAINE

JOSH HOMME:

2008-07-19T03:27:00.000-07:00

i like fingertips too but art attack is og.

neil buchanan is a man who needs an award, or a badge, probably a badge, a badge would please him no end.

mdf is the same as pork pies.

Art Attack

2008-07-19T03:07:00.000-07:00

I think queens of the stone age should do a version of the art attack theme, it would kick ass

things i have bought etc

Ashes to Ashes

really enjoyed life on mars and the tone and style of the series, but this has me confused, cant decide what i think of keeley hawes character alex drake, she is a fully formed character, so i dont think it is bad writing, but i just cant get along with her, maybe its my inner un-snob, or maybe its that she bosses everyone about a lot, john simm seemed easier to empathise with,., the show is a show dependant on the way her character deals with the world and she can just seem a bit too smug.

episodes 1 through 3 are great telly though, really fun and interesting keep moving quickly, and provide sufficient twists.

4./

episode 4 is a bit of a clusterfuck, it seems to do nothing for the first half an hour and then the second half seems to be amazing, really funny, interesting story points and a good rhythm, the first half is slow moving turgid interviews and ponderment.

maybe this was the point of this episode, dont know though, seems too slow, it almost loses suspense with how it eats itself with no movement and little in the way of a driven storyline.

addmiteddly the characters are lost in the 'plot' the mystery doesnt appear to unravel, a fair point for a lack of drive in the characters minds, but normally in a situation like this the series spins off with gene/ray/skelton forcing something from nothing, and causing more trouble, this doesnt happen, a change, you may say, but why divert from a strong formula, the war between hunt vs drake/tyler is normally the beating heart of the show, and tyler/drake proving hunt wrong and solving the problem is often the most thrilling part of the show.

Ting tings albums

might as well be an ep

with

great dj
not my name
fruit machine
shut up and let me go

not that the other tracks are bad, just dont stand out or have the character of the ones above. at best they are capable of writing strong pop songs, at worst they sound like they have been forced to stifle the rest of the album, the production is a little flat on all but the above songs, it feels like singles have been lumped with a bunch of filler.

i fear it may be the end of time, as there is now less than a week to go till i see the dark knight. , i honestly have no fucking clue what people are supposed to do other than see this film.

i cant wait for the predictable backlash, theres that one reviewer who got hatemail for it already. like everything else though, a bunch of spartacus's (spartaci?) will decide that its actually not good, and sit on their high horses neighing like dickheads.

guitar hero: aerosmith.

one criticism, not enough big singles.
rumour and foresight advises dont wanna miss a thing will be on gh:wt, so perhaps this is the destiny of dude looks like a lady etc.

maybe though these songs will pop up as dlc at a later date. probably

amazing t shirt

2008-07-02T11:57:00.001-07:00

http://www.bustedtees.com/airguitarhero?utm_medium=CPA&utm_source=UrbanDictionary&utm_campaign=Billboard

bATTUBER

2008-07-02T11:15:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_-NEBvaJHM

I think the trailers for dark knight, are better than most films, but this is by far the best.

Dominos exclusive?

wehat pizza and batman.

shit, just got real.

I dont think i have been as excited for anything as i have been for DK.

I think it could possibly be the biggest thing to ever happen in the world, it is pretty amazing.

I cant wait for it, and then my gf will no longer have my speculation filling here ears.

who dies, rachel dawes?

PRESUME SO would make sensse...

Aaron Eckhart is amazing in thank you for smoking.

Jason reitman is amazing though.. TYFS is a quality flick. cant wait for reitmans next film either, what does he do after juno.

Thank You For Smoking is the story Nick Naylor tobacco lobbyist and his way of weaving the world around him, its hard not to side with naylor as eckharts charm basically eats you alive, the script and v/o ooze out of the screen and it has one of the best supporting casts ever, Katie Holmes acting. people forget shes actually good. Too much strange news.

Youtuber

2008-07-02T10:43:00.000-07:00

Not normally a jimmy carr fan, what happens when you tube the prof.

Made me smile.

Had crispy pancakes for tea, they were great chips and beans.

Burgers

2008-07-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

Saw sean the cat tonight and fed him some kitekat. he's losing weight, sean is a neighbours cat who comes around our house to say hullo and mooch our food off us. i like him, but he's basically the cat equivalent of a beggar, or like a greedy friend.

he's not chubby though, so maybe actually no one loves him. he's nice though, so i dont see why that would be the case,

must be difficult being a cat in summer, fur must be a nightmare

three things i dislike about summer:
the heat
everywhere seems busier
ice cream melts faster

seriously what is the point in eating ice cream in summer (to cool you down, NO, it doesnt, you just get runny goo all over yourself, eat a bit of roast beef, it will raise your temperature and make you at one with the warmth.)

keep yourself hydrated, peanuts are not hydrating, i found this out after eating them on a trip out to the desert, i ended up so thirsty i drank my own piss. i did it like this, what i did was was fill one hand with sand and placed a bowl i was carrying on the ground, i them pissed into the sand hand which filtered out any lumps of bacteria and then i drank the piss that had fell in the bowl, it still tasted like piss, but it hydrated me.

i wouldn't reccomend doing this in reality, for the desert was in my head and the story was in my dreams.

Also in the desert was Shane Ritchie and he was balancing puppets on his fathers back (his father was a cat with a sad look on its face)

Tonight I will be munching:

Burgers. like this:
from bottom to top

Bread
Burger
JD sauce
Cheese
Bacon
Fried Onion/Apples
Mayo
Bread

I think burgers maybe taking over from pizza as my favourite food, but pizza burgers are my favourite, they sell them in toystory, well in pizza planet restaurant at disneyland,

pizza
burger
pizza

Poem:

Maybe beats taste like sweets
and you are my oven.
The truth it seems is never apparent,
I am nothing but the sea
and the child dance upon my belly.

Jim Juggins, Age 13

2008-06-30T11:27:00.000-07:00

Bruce rode his diamante tiger into the bleeding heart of the sun, his mind whirred with the futility of it all, it started out as a simple night's shopping but alas nothing is as simple as it looks. the washing machine was out of stock and the trolley man wouldnt let him strap Hassgard to the trolley post. Bruce had even offered him a pound for this. The tracks passed into the blackness as the sun grew in front of Bruces eyes. All in all he had struggled with the subways album, the raw energy of their earlier days neuteured by big time production. He had chained Hassgard to a stationary car and ventured inside. Too many acoustic songs sucked away at the record, leaving too much of a difference between the fast(ish) songs and the slow ones, the main problem being that it makes all the songs sound the same, and prevents the album from gaining any momentum. The sun was cold this close Bruce presumed this was the sign of his brain melting. My initial feelings for the new album were immediately grinding down from optimism thanks to the atrocity of girls and boys, a song based around the dullest chorus the subways have ever written. kalifornia and shake shake were the stand out tracks, everyone else favourite i wont let you down, is a great riff attached to a poor song. The better points of the album aren't even included for uk listeners, streetfighter and the other song, they are good. OBSESSION is good, motorhead lite until the jangly bits, overall i dont think its worth the three year wait, it might be an album ruined by time, i look forward to hearing new songs at reading this summer to convert me to the new album, before that happens i will be eating the cheese of disappointment on the crackers of predictability. hassgard turned around, bruce ate sun pie until his mind turned to jam and fucked itself

VELOCITTY

2008-06-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

THE NEXT ITEM IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN FREETRANSLATION VISION.

I fought for calling this thing, I didnt knows what to call it, you know their that wants what does I call it, and I sat down for the ages that try to think about something, I didnt so I chipped it of in another part

I never thought that bloguearía, I will treat and I will maintain so much of it in small as possible as you seem ready like you are as all to break the conventions of the grammar, screws this crap, loose behind and put a P in the grammpar now its gramppar not grammpar. spekll, etc.

At present I enjoy a variety of things, that I cause whines without doubt in about of in here, like I am some class of intelligent sensitive is done of metal with 8 tentacles that force in the informatioo in the brain, music/books/film/games/food/drink/comedy/eight.

My existence is puntuada by flatulence, that signifies that some of my prayers they leave like this ‘...}];;.

I enjoy currencies that balance in my tips of finger, does I feel me as has 5 tiny queens that grow out of the palm of the hands and that is truly a magical feeling.

yes, I remain without the things to say, in this oh cliched of blogs, where looks I him seen the reader directly, oh my hof, what medium of thius, I put me the need that this to be felt as writes these so people can read it, I it perhaps put in a type of tiny letter and then you have to copy it on and re to read it or the crap, Something as I Will Propose something, the worry put.

The hands tell me to invade.

Click these:

The News read for a prostitute.

The dyslexic Boy does not Leave anything to Happen

These they are not true ties, but they imagine if they were, the vulgar news that would sprinkle, oooh the news.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I struggled to name this thing, i didnt know what to call it, you know its like what do i call it, and i sat for ages trying to think of something, i didnt so i nicked it from somewhere else

i never thought i would blog, i will try and keep as much of it in lowercase as possible as you appear clever as you are being like all breaking the grammar conventions, fuck this shit, lets go back and put a p in grammpar now its gramppar not grammpar. spekll, etc.

Currently i am enjoying a variety of things, which i will no doubt whine on about on here, like i am some kind of intelligent sentient being made of metal with 8 tentacles forcing in informatioo into my brain, music/books/film/games/food/drink/comedy/eight.

My existence is punctuated by flatulence, which means some of my sentences come out like this '...}];;.

i enjoy balancing coins on my finger tips, it makes me feel like i have 5 tiny queens growing out of the palm of my hands and that is truely a magical feeling.

yeah, i'm running out of things to say, in this oh cliched of blogs, where look i'm dressing you the reader directly, oh my hof, what can thius mean , i dont want this to feel like i am writing this so people can read it, i might put it in a tiny font and then you have to copy it over and re read it or shit, something like that, i'll come up with something, dont worry.

my hands are telling me to invade.

Click these:

The News read by a prostitute.

Dyslexic Child Leaves Nothing to Chance

These aren't real links, but imagine if they were, the tawdry news they would spill, oooh the news.