supervillian

I am supervillainous.
The definate article.
Broad brush strokes,
paint your opinions

Choose to Wear
the terror of
poloshirts, and boots
stylish in industrial estates

we laugh, we fuck around
we taunt the flaccid rubber membranes with air
pursing their thin lips, for farting sounds.

I pack you into boxes
and give you away
condoms, small and beige

you blow them and
stick them on the curtain rails
can you see me yet
my saliva is all over the inside
mixing with yours

the sunlight shines through
gobby lava lamp shines
your childrens birthday party
with a shadow of phelgm cast over it
like a hospital lab.

but dont be sad, they will pop soon
saliva spreading and filling the room
my cold sicks up on your furniture,
you slowly wither, and grow green
all because i didnt read the book on hygiene

Never Miss A Beat

Like it, worried they will do an ashcroft though, essentially it is an idiot rant as a song.

already radio one were like, oh, i had crisps for my tea. wikkid.

cockshiners.



fucking tools.

SILVER BULLETS.

EVERYBODY IS AWARE OF ME,
LIVING THROUGH BROKEN BIOLOGY
DISCOVERED THROUGH ASTRONOMY
IAM WHAT CAN NOT BE

DISCOVERED
UNCOVERED
INFECTED
THE WOUNDS OF THE NATION ARE SEPTIC

EVERYBODY IS AFRAID OF ME
STALKING THE CITYS/NEW DISEASE
INCREASING THE SIZE OF MY FAMILY
IAM WHAT CAN NOT BE


DISCOVERED
UNCOVERED
INFECTED
THE WOUNDS OF THE NATION ARE SEPTIC

SILVER BULLETS, WONT EVEN STOP ME
I AM A ROCKET, I AM ATROCITY

SILVER BULLETS.

UNDONE AS A CREASE I SUFFER IN DEFEAT
A MEAT OF COMPLACENCY SITS AT MY FEET
A NATION DEVOURED NEVER BEEN SO PROUD
INTO THE NIGHT THE URBAN WOLF HOWLS


DISCOVERED
UNCOVERED
INFECTED
THE WOUNDS OF THE NATION ARE SEPTIC

SILVER BULLETS, USE THEM WELL
UNLESS WE ARE TO SUFFER THIS HELL

SI
LV
ER
BU
LL
ET
S.

Mario Party was delayed for release in england because it had spastic on the box and they had to replace it with erratic

dunno why spastic is a much better word, apparently though its offensive, only if it is used offensively, i doubt it said

"mario spastic party

play as mario as a spastic.

play as waluigi, the spastic"


i bet it was

"Mario Party even suitable for spastics"

thats not offensive, its just informative.......

if anything erratic, just makes it sound absurd

"Mario party even suitable for erratic people"


IF I SEE ANOTHER ADVERT FOR UGLY BETTY I WILL SHIT MY MIND AND THROW IT AWAY, WELL I WONT BE DOING THAT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

being famous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGq-9X3ho7U&feature=related

theres about 10 of them, really worth the watch
watching alan moore videos is interesting he is interesting


being famous
heads up your anus
the plague of cameras
like bees made of light
beams of light fight you
the tabloids glare at your
fat
pudgy
racist

face

alright, dont worry about it
hide, you still want the stars
hiding in cheap bars,
telling anyone who will notice
embracing the floating voters
they still didnt like you,
the tv crews didnt neither
even though they plied you with cream buns
and squeezed you
2 kisses on your cheek
the apathy of it all

you stand on the balls of your feet
get your head above the crowd
you're queuing for the toilet now
the turtle head of fame is poking out
shit and scream, stab and shout
the craze is dying the year is through
what once was you is someone new
OK a last ditch, what the fuck did you do for christmas
dressed up as a whore, doing the dishes
who is really interested,
who is?
the slabs of...
you cant describe them, you thrive on them
you fuck them for cash with your eyes
the magazines advertise your assests, your only ones
in glossy glory, a haunting story
you're either selling your body or your pride
failing to cover up
like a fat seal pup about to be clubbed
you fall out of a sordid scandal
innocent and naive, or so it seems
creating your own demise to thrive on their grief

a black eye or a smack you didnt ask for it
the publicity men said it was worth its wait in gold
you cant keep up with them
the talented
IS IT ironic that your fame is from reality
only likeable compared to few,
the public was forced to like you.

you didnt realise the truth,
a host of a bizarre troop
your next challenge a nazi tattoo,

when will you stop,
smoking crack rocks



0----------------------0
thats a really long ranty one isnt it.

the oven broke half through yorkshire puddings so they were fried.

me reading blogs and copying things from blogs for other people to read

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

ace

Zack & Miri

Zack & Miri Trailer Up, watched it, it is amazing, I think Kevin Smith is literally some kind of god

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/zachmiripornposter.jpg
also watch the trailer @filmdrunk.com

Seth Rogen is upthere with Jeff Anderson with the born for smith dialogue voice.

His act has always been very Smith-esque, his delivery of the back to the future dialogue with paul rudd being the funniest bit of knocked up by a long way.

knocked up is alright, overlong though, and katherine heigl has an annoying face, its like god designed her face by drawing a circle and then throwing the bits for a face as close to the middle as possible. from certain angles she is attractive the most of the time though she looks like the plate faces in POD

Hey sing something douchebag



I didnt do the fucking LOL, i am not against lol, its just that the statement isnt funny.


turns out as well i cant get away with saying douchebag or cockshiner

I did invent dickeyes though, so the world of insults goes around.

NB if anyone reads this and can find a recorded use of dickeyes let me know, i might patent the word, it is pretty badass.

Golf, whats the point?

I mean, if its not cool and alice cooper does it, whats the fucking point of it.
i once knocked myself out playing goodlf, i fucking was playing keepy uppy with a golf club, did like 3 (i know, great) and then keeped the club uppy into my eye knocking me out.

it hurt..


still havent seen hellboy 2 yet... grr.
but pineapple express is out soon, am looking forward to that

yorkshire puddings with tea.

is there anybody out there

off to the pub, they dont have the dwarves on the jukebox, which is lame,

the dwarves kick ass. fact.

Extras

For a first picture i didnt know just what to choose, but a picture of the lamb was the right one to go for, yes its about extras again, but it is amazing

from the perspective of wannabe writer and tv comedy fan, it hits all the right buttons, the cameos are pitch perfect (patrick stewart is amazing, he also shares the same birthday as me, as does harrison ford and x-pac) my birthday is the best.

ashley jensen is amazing, why is she is ugly betty, the most boring tv programme ever.

ricky gervais is amazing, one of the most intelligent and direct writers/performers ever, i dont think many can compare with him. extras is everything british tv should be, ie not try to be american, its intelligence is in its distance, it doesnt avoid the punchline or the pun, but it delivers them in such a way that you feed on them, waiting for the lines, waiting for andy millman t0 take his turn.

the fact that the bbc let them get away with the comedy department ripping, is cringefully accurate, with the bbcs schedule firing us tosh like the wrong door, trexx and flipside (the fact i say this is shit considering one of them is in the jokers gang and rich fulcher is involved is a brown streak of shitty approval), catherine tate, my family (the longest running thing they have, fucking hell)

admirably, lee macks not going out was watchable 9pm friday tv not without its faults, but macks charm pushed an average mbb/gameon style setup into the chuckle, but the bbc pushes the wrong things, currently all they have is the panel shows

would i lie to you
mock the week
QI
and the ever strong buzzcocks (or bailey, jupituss and idiot)


mitchell and webb & boosh sticking around in no mans land

m&b the only decent thing they have on 2, the show that as a youth fed me shooting stars and absolute power and alan partridge

tv is missing you reeves/mortimer/coogan
come back, partridges nasal whine breaking the 2 idents would be a rallying call for quality, the stott brothers squeal would make me complete.

bbc give up, sketch shows are over, till the fast show returns, whitehouse and enfield return, whilst watered down for them was still the best thing you've fed us on mainstream tv in a while.


If you want, go elsewhere go american, sarah silverman show has not been picked up for uk broadcast and i'm desperate to see that, be adventerous, be intelligent, but for fucks sake do something actually entertaining with the 4 of hours of giggles you put on.

forced back arrested development

arrested developement